


A Home Within A Home

by quiriusblack



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Canon Universe, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, and so is recovering from years of survival, sleeping is hard man, the mighty nein - Freeform, walking disasters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-06
Updated: 2018-11-06
Packaged: 2019-08-19 13:17:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,793
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16535297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiriusblack/pseuds/quiriusblack
Summary: The Mighty Nein has been adventuring together for years, and they've finally reached a point where they own their own home. But really, the first night in a new house is hard, and one by one they find that they can't sleep.





	A Home Within A Home

Tealeaf Manor was a sight to behold.  


Its occupants, all famous and powerful in their own rights, made sure it would be when they commissioned the special architecture job: ceilings high enough that Caduceus would never have to duck down, doors within doors to accommodate Nott, a massive library for Caleb, training grounds for Beau, an alchemy lab, a temple to the Traveler (quietly hidden so as not to disturb the sensibilities of the Empire), a thriving garden. They christened it after the man who had taught them to be the people they now were, the accomplished adventurers successful enough to own their own place, family enough to be willing to commit to a home together. It had taken nearly a year to complete, and it was beautiful. They had even hired staff to take care of the grounds, even though Caduceus insisted he could still cook, and Fjord insisted he could maintain the inside, Jester felt right at home having people to make sure the linens were clean (they had linens!) and dusting the peacock feathers carved into the trim.  


Their head-of-house, an older gnome named Dobbin, gave the Mighty Nein a tour of their new home and showed them to their individual rooms. They had eaten, they had made the biggest purchase of their lives, and for the first time in years, they were going to sleep in their own beds, in their own home, where they could feel safe.  


It was Caleb who first realized that sleep would not come to him. Perhaps it was his old self-hatred rearing its ugly head again, perhaps it was the fact that the last time he had had a home with people that he loved he had slaughtered them, perhaps it was the fact that he never thought he would have a family again. Maybe it was that his body was now used to long nights on the side of some road, keeping watch. He had come to the realization a long time ago that he would willingly die for these people, but the realization dawning now that he may not have to was entirely new. He pushed the fine linens off of him and slipped down the estate stairs, smiling sadly at the peacock feathers and snakes they had insisted be carved into the trim in every room.  


“You would have loved this,” he whispered to the air. He sat on the stone floor of the living room, facing the dying embers of the fire, and thought for a long time about running away.  


Running away was just about the only thing Beau had ever been good at, growing up. She had run from her parents, her responsibilities, the Crown’s Guard, the enemies she had made, and from her own salvation. She ran so far and so fast that she ran headlong into Jester, jostled Fjord, and when she turn to run again, Caleb, Nott, Molly, and Yasha had blocked her path. Molly left an opening in the circle surrounding her, but Caduceus stepped into it so quickly she never made her escape. It took her years to admit to herself that this time, she may slow to a jog. This time, she let people fall into step beside her. She had run from her childhood home, then, she remembered bitterly, had been removed from it by force. It had never occurred to her, when she was flying as fast as her feet could take her (which, she thought to herself with not a small amount of pride, was pretty fucking fast) that she would ever stop anywhere long enough to have a home again. Muscle memory began to take over, and she rose from her bed. She thought of going to Jester’s room, but instead made her way downstairs, running her fingers along the edge of where the wall met the ceiling. She though of Nila, who had told her a lifetime ago that those she would lose would always be with her, running her thumb along the head of the snake in the wood. She was shocked to see Caleb at the bottom of the stairs, staring into the near-empty hearth. Beau looked at Caleb for a few beats of silence, then to the door to the outside, then back to Caleb. She took her place next to him on the floor.  


“Can’t sleep?” she asked, draping her arms over her knees. She flexed her hands a little, feeling exposed without the wraps over them.  


“It’s strange, isn’t it?” Caleb replied, not looking away from the coals. “We’ve worked so hard for this for so long. And now that we’re here, it feels like someone will come in the morning to take it away.” Beau nodded solemnly and turned her eyes toward the fireplace, looking hard for answers neither of them had.  


“Yeah. People like us don’t get things like this.”  


Jester Lavorre, on the other hand, did. She had been looking forward to having a home with servants and her own room again for months. Ever since they had realized they had enough money to commission the Manor (which was more of a keep, really, she thought to herself), all she had thought about was this night. So why, she wondered, couldn’t she sleep? She had written in her sketchbook, had prayed in her new temple, she had sent a message to her mom to let her know construction was complete and that she had a new address, but something felt missing. After a few minutes of laying in the darkness, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, she realized it was the absence of sound. Jester hadn’t slept alone in years. Even when they were in inns, Beau had always stayed with her. She bit her lip, thinking to herself that it would be okay to share this first night, while they were all still getting used to everything. She too slipped out of her fine bed with her fine sheets in her fine silk sleepwear and padded across her bedroom floor. Beau’s door, across the way, was ajar, her room empty. Jester felt a small lump form in her throat as she clasped her hands together, preparing a sacred flame spell in her head as she made her way as quietly as possible down the stairs. She let the spell fade into nothing as she caught sight of Beau and Caleb sitting side by side on the carpet she had draped across the stone floor. She made her way over to them and sat on the other side of Beau.  


“Hi.” she started simply, looking at the floor as she brought her knees to her chest. “Sleeping can be hard sometimes, I guess.”  


“It can be, you’re right.” Beau replied as Caleb hummed his agreement.  


Fjord’s whole body was humming with energy. He knew this feeling, though it was out of place here. He was lying still, but he could feel a ship moving around him, his internal balance still accounting for waves that were no longer there. He could occasionally feel the pressure of tide against his shins as he lay flat on his back, eyes toward the ceiling. He had gone through this process many times in his life as a sailor, but the thing that was troubling him now was that he hadn’t been at sea for months. There should be nothing to adjust to, he thought to himself with growing frustration. He looked over at his falchion, glowing softly in its stand. He nodded in acknowledgement to the thing that was somehow both him and Molly at once, and with a wave of his hand, dismissed it. The darkness that then engulfed his room became unbearable very quickly. He got unsteadily to his feet and decided to make his way to the kitchen (gods, he thought to himself, they have a fucking kitchen now) to get some water. Halfway down the stairs, he heard the hushed voices coming from the living room and summoned the falchion back into his hand. He thought about dismissing it, remembering that they had servants and such things now that may be around the house at night, but couldn’t bring himself to do so. Years of survival do not disappear after half a night in a fancy house. He locked eyes with Jester just as his friends came into view. He dismissed his sword immediately.  


“Rough night?” Beau called over her shoulder.  


“Can’t sleep.” Fjord replied, shrugging his shoulders.  


“Us either,” Caleb moved closer to Beau so there was enough room on the carpet for another person. “Come, take a seat. We are all just sitting here thinking about how odd this is.”  


Without speaking, Fjord made his way to the carpet and sat down, and began to study his hands.  


Nott’s hands were two different shades of green, she noticed. She had always promised herself that if she ever got a proper place to live, a proper home, she wouldn’t hide inside of it. True to her word to herself, she had carefully unwrapped every bandage across her face, hands, and ears and set them inside her mask, a makeshift bowl, on her bedside table. As she laid in her bed, constructed especially for someone of her size, she couldn’t help but stare at her hands in the candlelight. The parts she had always covered were a few shades lighter than the rest of her. And of course, there were the smaller traces of whitish, of bluish. Scars from when she first taught herself how to shoot and had cut her hand on the bolt, from when she tried to disable a trap by putting her thumb in it, from when she picked up Frumpkin too fast and he bit her, from when she covered Jester’s mouth with her hand and she bit her too. A little proudly, Nott thought to herself that over her years of adventuring, she had earned every scar. And, a little more proudly, she remembered that these hands had probably dealt more scars than they had received. She looked from her hands to up at her ceiling, and realized that though her room had been sized to fit her, she felt as though she was drowning in space. Goblins weren’t meant to live in houses, she decided. Certainly she wasn’t meant to live in houses. More than anything, she realized, she needed a drink. And she had left her flask in the dining room. She slipped silently out of her door, then down the stairs. None of her friends would have noticed her had she not called out in the dark.  


“Hey! What are you guys doing down here?” she asked, tilting her head to one side. She scurried down the rest of the stairs toward the semicircle of her friends, her family. Jester gasped as Nott stepped into the low light.  


“Nott, your wraps.” She said quietly. Oh, right, she thought to herself. None of them, not even Caleb, had seen her whole face at once.  


“Yeah.” she shrugged. “I figured, we have a home now, right?”  


"Right.” Fjord replied, a little too quickly.  


“Come, sit.” Caleb pat the space on the rug between his legs. Nott made her way over and took her place.  


“So, we just staring at the fire?” Caleb wrapped his arms around her.  


“We are all reflecting. We have done a lot to get here. And we have lost a lot, as well.” Caleb replied.  


Nott nodded solemnly, and took her place staring at the fire, if that’s what we’re all doing now.  


Solemn was probably the best word for how Caduceus was feeling. He had prayed for a sign and gotten a family. He had prayed for a way to save his home and he had somehow gained a new one. He had fought, killed, and nearly died for the people who now presumably slept in the rooms around him. He could feel their energies through the walls, all restless, all safe. He could tend a garden here, teach something to grow again. He was not used to living with people anymore, but he was sure that he could become better at it over time. One by one, he heard his compatriots, his family really, make their way down the stairs. He could hear their muffled voices carrying up the stairs and down the hall to his room. While he could not make out their individual words, he could hear the distress. Slowly, he got up, and made his way down the stairs as well. If nothing else, he wanted to see what all the fuss is about.  


“Hi.” he called out, before the rest of the mighty nein were even visible, ducking down at the end of the stairway.  


“Hi.” a tired chorus of voices called back. There was not enough room for him in the semi-circle, so he took his place cross-legged in front of the fireplace. “Sleeping is hard sometimes, huh.”  


“I was just saying that!” Jester’s eyes lit up a little, she sat up straighter.  


“First night in a new house, it can be unsettling.” Caleb replied, still holding Nott.  


“Mr. Caleb, if you don’t mind, I think I have an idea.” Caduceus half smiled.  


Yasha had an idea. More of a concept, really. It was a far off storm she couldn’t stop chasing, business that never seemed to be done, people she might be willing to die or stay alive for, but never willing to stay too long. Love had gotten the better of her. She had agreed to a home base she could always come back to, but she may never lose her instinct to run. She would certainly never lose the business that called her away so often. She knew, deep down, she would never be able to repay her debt to the Stormlord. And right now she knew, deep down, that she could not stay in Tealeaf Manor tonight. She missed the house’s namesake. After all this time, she was still so nervous to disappoint these people that she felt she should leave them. She finished pressing some flowers from the garden into her book, threw her pack over her shoulder, and made her way down the stairs.  


She stopped dead in her tracks when the whole party was waiting for her, Caduceus facing her, Caleb with his nose in his book.  


“Hi.” Caduceus smiled, seeing straight through her as always. “We couldn’t sleep either.”  


“I think I have some business elsewhere.” she said, suddenly unsure of the words as she heard them in her voice.  


“I think you have business right here.” Caduceus replied. “I know you’re nervous, and overwhelmed, and scared. When you spend so much time running, it all catches up to you once you stop.” his eyes were soft, looking up at her. “Why don’t you go get your pillows and blankets from your room. We’re all going to do the same.” He rose, making his way over to her, and touched her arm gently. In line, Fjord, Jester, Nott, and Beau followed. A few minutes later they all returned to the living room, where a large arcane dome had formed in a lovely lavender color.  


The Mighty Nein were surrounded by thick stone walls, locked doors, and patrolling guards. All of them were lethal warriors, and could easily parry any bandits that may have come for them in the night, even alone. None of those things made them feel as safe as Leomund’s Tiny Hut, in which they formed a blanket nest.  


Nott curled in on herself against Caleb’s ribcage. Caduceus’ left arm served as Caleb’s pillow, his right supporting Yasha. In a move she had shown few others, Yasha removed her pack, removed her weapon, and slept with her back to most of the group. Beau laid between Yasha and Jester, careful to leave a breath’s room between herself and the barbarian, while she allowed Jester to hold her hand. Jester laid her head on Fjord’s chest, who in turn laid his arm out for Nott to lay her head on his hand. For a few breaths, all was calm.  


Jester began to cry softly. Fjord allowed his hand to wander toward her hair, but said nothing. Beau’s tears came silently, and Yasha rested one hand on her ribcage to steady her, and herself. Caleb continued to hold Nott as if she might be taken away at any moment, and her tears hitting Fjord’s hand were what started his going. The salt water on his face was almost comforting.  


“It’s okay.” Caduceus whispered, breaking the silence. “It’s okay, we made it.” and no sooner had he cast calm emotions that everyone was asleep in their circle, in their tiny home within their home.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! 
> 
> This is my first time writing this sort of thing, so I hope you all like it!! I'm definitely accepting constructive criticism in the comments. 
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!! 
> 
> -Marissa


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